'Devilish' Jeans a Hot Seller in Sweden

Christianity, a "force of evil" that had sparked wars throughout history...Nice way to promote your anti-Christian Stance...Sell Jeans w/ an anti Christian Logo!

I Like it!

Dopers Suck Coffee helps send U.S. Juniors to 'Cross World's

For the second consecutive year, Dopers Suck and Jittery Joe’s Coffee have joined forces to help send U.S. junior racers to the Cyclocross World Championships in Zeddam, The Netherlands. All proceeds from Dopers Suck Special Blend coffee will help offset World Championships travel expenses for these young up and coming superstars as they head to Europe for the January 28, 2006 race. Dopers Suck Special Blend coffee is created exclusively by Jittery Joe’s is available ground or whole bean.
Jittery Joe's Coffee is based in Athens, Georgia and has roasted over five million pounds of beans in the last 14 years, 25 pounds at a time. They support cycling through grassroots junior sponsorship, event support, and sponsorship of the Jittery Joe's-Zero Gravity Professional Cycling Team. For more info visit: store.jitteryjoes.com and www.doperssuck.com.

I like this idea. Maybe this idea could work for Pat McQuaid in order to try to save the Pro Tour! He could say "TDF Sucks" & sell it as a bumper sticker in hopes to raise enough money to pay the riders not to ride the Grand Tours!

Prison Causes New Stink in Kentucky Town

"It's a design problem," said Maleva Chamberlain, spokeswoman for the Kentucky Division of Water. "The sewer lines were designed too big. They were designed for the prison at full capacity, plus for additional development in the area. So what happens, because there is not enough flow, the sewage sits there and goes septic."

Now why on earth would a town of 1000 people with one of the nation's highest unempolyment rates build something so big? Maybe they can import (Another State's Outsourcing) prisoners, or offer up their services as a terrorist jail for the CIA to torture...It IS Kentucky anyway, so why not add foul smelling places to the list of possible strategies to get the bad people to give up the info!

Watch out for the International Red Cross to come in & claim this torture for the prisoners who are there now, but not for the citizens who live there freely!

Christmas Racing Team launch 2005

MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wish us luck at this years AVN awards.

Jesus Freaks try to Claim the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

I am now not only disillusioned by the religious Right (Wrong) , but now by Disney in their never ending effort to become media whores for an extra nickel, are peddling one of my favorite childhood stories as an allegorical link to Christianity and Jesus.

C.S. Lewis I think would be rolling over in his grave. As an atheist most of his life and an apologetic Christian at the end, never intended his Narnia series to be a point of reference for the Jesus Freaks.

Why can't a story of Fantasy for kids be just that without the big business or the Right Wing Armageddon freaks ruining it for all of us!

Way too much time on their hands Merry Christmas.

This dude has some extra time.

Huh? After reading this I am not sure if this is Pro or Anti Tyler

Off Scores & reticulocytes and Lions, Tigers and Bears...Oh My!!!

From what I can make of this article, Tyler looks guilty, dying, anemic, or a combination of all of these things! Either that or he is a freak w/ an undiagnosed ailment/ability.

I now know absolutely nothing more than before I wasted my time reading this! except for how to spell reticulocytes and what they are! (see picture here)

I HATE YOU AMERICANS

Not that I'd ever race in or go see it but the SFGP is cancelled. Ya know if it ain't foosball or some other dumbass sport that can be contained in a stadium Americans don't care. Maybe if body checking and punching was allowed in cycling more would watch. Roller derby style mofo. I have been very very very un-patriotic of late but feel that it's justified. I'm embarrassed to admit being an American. Lucky for me I grew up close enough to Canada that I can convince euro trash types that I'm a canuck!! You know I'm not asking for much. I don't feel like the Government owes me a house and new car because I lived in New Orleans and am black and poor. I don't run around with 23's pretending to be the next 50 cent. I'm not doin' time on the streets waiting for my album to drop. I'm not bitching about gas prices being so high because 'damn it this is America and I have a right to drive what I want fuck the consequences'. I just wish more was being done to take cycling serious. I do donate to cycling advocate groups so I am trying. I also commute to try and save fuel and make the general public aware that cyclist have rights on the road. Unfortunately the whiz of my chain is drowned out by the screetching of 4 banger CVCC's with 'fart mufflers'. (yes I did spell CVCC correct I'm Ole' school). So where's my bicycle lane and awareness commercials George?? You bastard.

Yup! Just what I have always thought. Downhillers are a bunch of knuckle heads!http://www.cyclingnews.com/mtb.php?id=riders/2005/interviews/myles_rock

You may like the interview, but read between the lines. Basically I can summarize it this way.
I needed some cash so I won the Red Bull Road Rage. I used to be someone but I smoked all my money. Now I just hang out in front of the day labor center with all my wetback buddies waiting for some contractor that needs a little help building shit. Yah yah the 6k will help me pay some bills or maybe I'll spend it on more pot. I'm thinking of trying to start up a meth lab when I get all this legal shit behind me. I want to set a good example for my son, so you know teach him how to pack a pipe and scrape the resin out the bowl. Oh hey you wanna buy some old Myles schwag? I got a Cannondale jersey for 45.00 bucks!. I also swallow if your into that type thing!
WHAT A FREAKING LOSER!!!!!!

Patently innovative

Are design restrictions limiting the spread and development of suspended mountain bikes?

Check out the CN Atricle regarding this topic... I believe that too much money is being spent on this BS & not enough on improving the Weight-to-Component ratio of the current technology...

Make it lighter and they will come!!!

BUY SOME BLING FROM TRICKY DICKY

Looking for something special for the favourite man in your life? If you live in France or Belgium (Not Belium) you could perhaps do worse than check out the latest jewellery collection from Virenque Design. Yes, already a PR man for Davitamon, a commentator for Eurosport and an adviser on bike design, seven-times Tour de France King of the Mountains Richard Virenque has teamed up with wife Stéphanie to produce a collection of 60 pieces including rings and pendants, all in silver and inspired by the theme “tribal urbain”, which is perhaps unfortunate given the explosive situation in urban France at the moment.The collection stems from ‘Tricky Dicky’s’ long-held desire to “create something in the field of fashion and design. This is not a one-off, I hope, but something that will last for a long time,” Virenque told Var Matin. The collection is reported to be within the budgetary range of most men, which is clearly good news for all of them. (Now, if only the "budgetary range" of "Most" men could be defined!)

In other news, Virenque, in a cross-promotion opportunity is offering a "kick-off" special to launch his line of jewelry...For a short period of time youn can get Virenque's signature series Sterling Silver Limited "Festina Addition" locket style pendant filled with Amgen's lastest prototype blood booster. All sales are final and first come first serve!

The New Next Best Thing in US Bike Racing

AAH Cyclocross!!! The sport is catching on so fast that those who found it appealling due to it's obscurity are now frustrated by it's popularity. The only thing I see wrong with that is everything! So we are not Sven Nys and winning the biggest races every week, Nor are we Jonathon Page, the US's best Crosser who happens to ride with the big dogs in Belium every Cross season.

However, who has the right to shun those of us who find the sport a little later than the others! I might just go sign up for a Cross Ride just because it will piss someone off that there is less space at the starting line!

Another Lance Lieutenant Bites the Dust!!!

Heras suspended
Spanish rider Roberto Heras, four-time winner of the Vuelta a Espana, has been suspended by his Liberty Seguros team following a non-negative A sample test for EPO from stage 20 of the the 2005 Vuelta.
The team's management company Active Bay suspended Heras on October 27, but did not announce the action while it awaited results of the counter-analysis of the B-sample, the team said in a statement. However, the team said a leak to the press had forced it to reveal the case.
The team said it believes Heras is innocent of the charges, but affirmed its dedication to the fight against doping.

An interview with Lv2byk

In an effort get to know the contributors of this blog I have decided to conduct a little one sided interview. By one sided I mean that I never formally consulted Lv2byk about the interview. I have known him for 7 years and feel that I can accurately answer the questions asked.

SkowVegas: How long have you been a cyclist?
Lv2byk: Well I'd say once I meet you back in Italy. Man you dragged me up some steep ass trail and I was hooked ever since. Before that I was just a roadie, and wouldn't consider myself a "cyclist".
Skowvegas: That's funny I feel that same way. I had never thrown a leg over a road bike until that time in Italy. When I think about it I missed one hell of an opportunity to get a sweet Italian road bike. Ok next question. Is it true that you have no bike handling skills and in fact have crashed landing in horse shit while crossing a flat bridge?
Lv2byk: Wait a minute, that's bull.....
Skowvegas: Oh sorry so it was bull shit on the bridge?
Lv2byk: No, no I crashed, that's true but I missed the horse shit and landed on my leg (editors note. Two witnesses present confirm that he landed in the horse shit.)
Skowvegas: Yah yah it ain't what really happen it's what you can prove happen buddy. Next question. Tell us about the Gorilla incident.
At this point in the interview Lv2byk gets a thousand mile stare and starts to weep.
Lv2byk: It's a tough subject but........I........I'm ready to talk about it. I was shopping for a new bike and was toying with the idea of a Specialized and Cannondale. I really wanted the Cannondale Jekyl but just could not afford it. Anyway about two weeks later I was riding and this huge corporate gorilla jumps out of the woods and ripped my lycra of my ass and just raped the shit out of me, all the while grunting the word CANNONDALE, CANNONDALE with every thrust of his corporate power. All I could do was lay there. Finally he went for the reach around and that's when I kicked him and ran. I decided at that point to get a Specialized. (Note please view injuries sustained by the Cannondale corporate Gorilla below).
Skowvegas: Wow! That is truly remarkable and you survived when many would not have. I understand Oprah wants to interview you is that true?
Lv2byk: yes but I have declined.
SkowVegas: Good choice. Well that's all I have for questions at the moment. I do have this picture of you taken in S.C. do you remember it? (he looks at the photo below a little confused) It was the time we slipped you a mickey in your drink and then hired a 300 pound man to dress in a tutu. Oh it was so fun, we gave him a can of whip cream and a tube of anal ease and left you two alone. Do your remember now?
Lv2byk: Um..................no!
Skowvegas: Well we'll finish that story another time.

Great Moments in Cheating.

This is an excellent read into the lures of using performance enhancing "dope" We are a nation of Viagra users.

GJ

Purchasing a piece of shit bike. This is what you get.

It seems that our litigious society has struck once again. I wonder if there is anyone out there that doesn't know Wal-Mart bikes are of the P.O.S. variety? Apparently there are still a few people that think Walgoose is a good brand. What a joke. Look at the picture of the kid all fucked up from not knowing what a QR is.

GJ

Drunk New Your-kers on Bah-sikols.

What do you get when you mix black leather, gothic life style, and socialy disfunctional bike nuts?

Bike Kill!! Thats what.

I'm a bike snob for sure

Cannondale makes the bestest bikes ever! If you are not riding a Cannondale your riding a turd. Their frame materials, blah, blah, blah. The handling, blah, blah, blah. Climibing hill is easier blah blah. Your singletrack sucks compared to Colorado! Ha ha ha. I thought this article was pretty funny.

GJ

EPO is now a sponsor of Professional Cycling.

Firt place prize includes: Free lifetime supply of epotein alfa. It is for all those days when you don't feel like climbing Mt Evans in your little ring.

Funny ass stuff here

Those crazy Britts. What are they doing accross the pond?

GJ

SOOO seems that the blog master is actin' silly

Look I have friend who seems to be brain washed by Cannondale. He used to be in love with Specialized, having owned at least three of them. But now it's all Cannondale all the time.

WANTED!!! Have you seen this Gut?

Rumor has it that this belly is an endangered species. Seen last in this form about 4 months ago. I have heard stories that a recent conversion to the Cannondale Cult of Road Riding may have caused the disappearance of the jiggling jelly belly that you see here. If anyone has any information to the truth of this matter please respond to this blog...

Some of the personal info that may help you in your search are as follows:

Wife: Guadeloupe Mary
Oldest Male Child: Alejandro
Youngest Male Child: Antonio
Nickname: Guadeloupe Jesus; Fatboy; Hubbreaker; Don Juan deMavic
Race: White-Palestinian/Hindu-Pakistani Mix
Religion: Jew/Mormon
Occupation: Milkman/Unofficial Promotions director for Cannondale
Hobbies: Eating, waxing poetic about "Six-13" and Coda Hollow-tech Cranks
Personal statement: "EPO? What EPO? I never touch the stuff." & "Hola, como esta"

Stop taking pictures of me in my tights! I have no PeePee!

Must be the Cold Air!!!

Handsome Devil

Have you ever seen such a pretty man!

Yesterday I did a ride with a couple of friends out at Lair of the Bear. Was a good ride, got back right at dark. Really nice to get out on the trails again. Mostly smooth, fast rolling single track, with a few nice technical sections.



Next pic is of the meadow about midway through the ride.










We had a pretty nice steep uphill for about 3 miles, not as bad as Mt. Falcon, but enough to keep the heart rate up. Fantastic!















Final pic is obviously me looking clueless (had someone changing a flat on the way back! )

Anyway, though I would share some pics instead of political commentary for a change!

Bike The Planet & happy riding!

GJ here...

Some docs up at St. Marys Hospital did a great job of putting all the maps of our trails for free.

Check them out. www.gjmountainbiking.com



TJ

Bush promises quick recovery for Floridians

Well now, you think Dubbya would learn about predicting things!...Considering his decision making track record and his best efforts at being a gypsy fortune teller, Floridians need to be wary of the premonitions of the Coward-in-Chief! He claimed Victory in Iraq 2000 dead bodies ago, and we are still in a quagmire with insurgency rising to greater heights & more Americans dying because he says we need to make that sacrifice. I would like to see the Twins volunteer to go on a USO tour in Baghdad!

As the head Pachyderm visited Miamians, he was berated for the responsiveness of the Fed Agencies. Instead of fessing up to the lameness of his Homeland Security realignment and the FEMA funds being funneled to support his & Tricky Dick's War Games, he lied and said things would be alright in no time...Then he went to AF1 & had a cold bottle of Perrier while the lines for water & ice got bigger. That a'boy DUBBYA! Republicans got to be shitting their pants trying to figure out how to hold onto power after you leave office!

At least Dubbya was smart enough (or an advisor was) to "reluctantly" accept Harriet Miers withdrawal letter. He promises a quick replacement cementing in my mind that he has not learned his lesson regarding quick decisions...Maybe Sandy Day-O'Connor will reconsider retiring!

Tour bids Armstrong a frosty adieu

I don't know what the big deal is. He has no way of proving himself clean. Lance Armstrong has had so many people question his performance and it's alleged predication on doping that anything less by the TDF organizers and ASO would have been a let down.

He did, he didn't, who really gives a shit anymore. ASO does, that's who. They own a newspaper for christ's sake and by not mentioning LA, they get people on both side amped up and commenting. (Which makes for stories on the from page, which sells papers!)

Too bad that the media attention nowadays was not available when Lemond rode. His story is truly inspirational. Not only did he do it dope free, but he did it with buckshot in his lungs!. If he wasn't shot he would have won six or seven times.

I am not saying Armstrong doped, but the fact that anyone who has an opinion of him that he does not agree with, or if anyone answers a question about him that he does not like, he ostracizes him (Ask Landis). If he had nothing to hide, he would treat those around him like friends instead of like Stalin treated the Bolsheviks!

What Armstrong did/does for Cancer is truly admirable, and if the end justifies the means, then good for him, but he deserves the bad press he gets within the sport because he is arrogant and ignorant. Thank god the sport will be fresh this year. Now only if OLN or anyone else would provide us some coverage!

What keeps you from riding?

The weather has been shaky for the last week rain has ruined some days for riding but the days that have been nice are filled with other hobbies that require dry days like for example tackling the repair of a canoe. I built this canoe in 1992 in high school and shortly after I left Maine and it behind. Until recently I have not been any where that would serve has good purpose to use a canoe. After 13 years it had finally started to rot. I have been slowly replacing the gunwales, inwales, cross members and deck caps. I have been doing this all outside during the nice days instead of riding. As the leaves are turning color and the temps in the 60's/70's the riding has been perfect however the little voice in my head tells me to continue on the old canoe. If everything goes right it will last another 13 years and by then I will be in a permanent place where I can try and tackle building another one to share with my children. As for the riding I guess I'll get a chance soon but not until I give due attention to some of my other hobbies.

These pictures show some of the damage before replacement and also some of the pre-finished work.

How Right is Right, And when does it become lunacy?

It is amazing how little time people spend working in this country on anything that truly reflects the furtherance of human goodness. The Mississippi-based American Family Association has decided to protest the manufacturer of American Girl, a highly popular line of dolls and children's books, until the toy maker cuts off contributions to a youth organization that supports abortion rights and acceptance of lesbians. As if there isn't enough stuff going on that is really important in this country...Obviously, these clowns are as lost on the translation of the bible & the profession of tolerance & forgiveness of all people, and have decided to take LITERAL STANCES and strict interpretations of what suits them...Sad they are, and petty their cause. But these clowns vote, so they seem to decide who the chicken shit in charge will be...Speaking of chicken Shits...Seems that the real Wizard to our Country's Oz has again lied (My Opinion - due to the fact that in his world the line between truth & lies is as blurred as Clinton's was on what adultery is defined as...) under oath... Anyway, read for yourself...And the left is sadly still stumbling & bumbling along as the opening comedy act in the beltway saga...Instead of Hide the salami, Dean should just hide. Is there a message out there that anyone left of the extreme right can provide for folks out here to have a glint of hope???...It could be worse, all my biking trails could be getting closed due to erosion, drilling for oil, equestrians, re-zoning of protected land, misunderstanding of the Beltway Comedy Club...Wait, it is depressing isn't it? But it is happening! Oh well...I can always watch old videos of the forests!!!

What is a Camel Toad?

Check this out...I feel bad for this lady, I really do...Enough Said!!!

Trail user conflicts

Trail user conflicts, we all have them in our area, some ugly and some just misunderstandings. SkowVegas's take on them is this. Counseling, as in relationship counseling. Trail users are made up of many groups. Bikers, hikers, trail runners, equestrians and where I'm from, moose and black flies. We are all involved together. The relationship (ie the trail) we share is similar to a marriage, we need to COMMUNICATE with each other to keep the relationship healthy. We need to COMPROMISE, AGREE and be UNDERSTANDING to each others needs, remember we want this relationship to produce offspring (new trails) and become a contributor to the community. I feel that many trail conflicts are just a result of miscommunication and misunderstanding. I think it's easy to get to a point where we want to become vindictive and selfish and control the relationship, manipulate control by convincing people (BLM, Politicians, law makers etc) that our point is best. Instead we should talk it out and come to an agreement that suits the parties involved in the trail and is best for the trail. We can seek relationship help with organizations like IMBA (for cyclists) and other trail organizations. I know that many many people work very hard fighting for public access trails and I also know that many people are fighting for selfish reasons (Horses only, Hikers only, Bikes only etc). With the exception of the black flies ( in my neck of the woods) I think we can all work together and build a happy, productive relationship for the growth of our trails. What do you think?

A romp in the woods

Great ride up 'Streaked Mountian' to the radio tower. Located between Buckfield and South Paris Maine.

Bonehead Athlete of the year nomination

Check out this bozo Bode Miller and his comments supporting the use of EPO.  He may, with this stupid statement move to the top of the list for Bonehead of the Year Award…Talk about pushing the fight against Performance Enhancement backwards…Not only is he condoning EPO Use, he is actually saying it is safe…Must be that solid New England Public School Education he Received...

Daily Political Ramble...

Lest you think I am some big part of the machine here at the d.o.d.…I give you my favorite blogger, Patrick O’Grady. (http://www.maddogmedia.com/dailydog.html) ...he is usually pretty funny and when his blog is current it usually fuels my day...

By the way, In case this does not convince you that I am not 1st in line to rule hell once Beelzebub retires (YES YOU MIKE!), I have continually created a huge shit storm for my office by identifying the bureaucratic minutia they continually spew at us in an effort to allow for big brother to micro-manage… Thankfully for us, we execute before we show proof of concept, so the shit never works anyway… See an example of the garbage that goes on in the following response from our "Smart Folks" who manage these incomplete ideas:
All,

As you probably all know, yesterday we started having some major problems with eTools stability. No doubt a lot of you guessed as did some of us in IT, that it was the introduction of PLAS and ECARS into the eTools environment that had caused the problems. Well, it turns out that PLAS and ECARS are "innocent." They weren't the cause of the problems at all. All they did, if anything, was simply exacerbate the effects of the real problem.

The real problem is some sort of software corruption in one of the three application software packages that eTools runs on. We replaced that particular software with a backup copy yesterday afternoon, but last night it became clear to us that the effects of the corruption had spilled over into some of the "common area" between the three application software packages. Consequently, we need to completely reinstall the software on those particular servers at Carson, CA.

So, now I am off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Blah!

The Shaws Card Mafia is Created

In the Fall of 2003 the four of us got together for a wedding in Maine. In route to the wedding, we all met in the White Mountains of New Hampshire to do some Mountain Biking. We found the Jigger Johnson camp site on the Kancamagus Highway near North Conway, NH. I arrived late, and the boys actually did a fair bit of riding that day, and we ended up setting up camp. As the boys got changed from the damp ride that day, Thomas & I went into North Conway to stock up on substinence (Beer, Chips, Creamer for the coffee, Beer, etc...). We headed to the local Shaws Grocery Store (Pronounced Shaaas in these parts of New England).

As we finalized our selection, we approached the checkout line, as we always do, in a courteous manner, (it never hurts to be polite to the locals...) when, as we were placing our beer, creamer, chips & beer on the checkout counter, we must have done something inadvertently to offend a bluehair. Never-the-less, as we started our checkout process, and as our next lesson in culture unraveled; A Korean teenager began to ask us if we had our Shaws Card ("Hey Buddy, 'Got yaoa Shaaaas Caaad Handy?"). After the initial shock of seeing this obvious native New Englander speak in the Native tongue, and the realization that Koreans actually did live in New England had sunk in, we answered in politely that we were from out of town, here for a wedding of sorts and that we did not have a card...

Never-the-less, Thomas, in his ever courteous manner turned to the bluehair behind us (Being totally oblivious, as was I, to the fact that she was offended by our very presence there.) and asked her if we could use her "Shaas Caad". In that moment, I was actually taken a-back more so than maybe ever before. She was direct, loud, and indignant in her response of "NO, YOU MAY NOT USE MY CAAD!" with almost an offended look as if we should know who she is and how we are beneath the level of even initiating conversation with her...

To our bitter disappointment, all further attempts to apologize to her for our obvious misinterpretation of her approachability and our offensive acts, (Whatever they may be) ended with no appeasement for this "Powerful Woman of substantial (age) wisdom and experience...Luckily for us, the Korean Native New Englander, had the etiquette of a Midwesterner and gladly punched his card to the now heightened chagrin of the Queen of the Stoneage behind us.

As we left we joked that maybe there was some underground cult associated with these Discount Cards, as we never had problems with these at Food Lion, Piggly Wiggly or Albertsons... Anyway, several months later, our newlywed Chad sent an email out to those of us in his usual humorous (or attempt at humorous) way explaining that the Shaws Card Mafia was indeed a reality, not an urban legend, and that these women were actually to be feared. "Beware of little Blue Hairs with Discount Grocery Cards...They are more dangerous than they look!" And the Shaws Card Mafia was Born...The rest is living history.

Cycling in the News - Doping

Well, now that Eddy Merckx has provided us some insight into the economic impacts of doping in cycling, maybe we should all start working our pharmaceutical marketing plans in order to reap the rewards. If the point is to focus on the culprits, then the punishments should be severe not only for the riders, but for any & all of those surrounding the outer fringes of the sport. Or organize like Major League Baseball and defy the governing bodies enough to drum up much needed media attention. Hey, bad news (coverage) is better than no coverage...